Poltergeist Report: Kuwabara
by LatentExpression
Summary: Kuwabara, the worst punk of Sarayashiki Junior High, is beaten into his afterlife by Yusuke Urameshi, and encounters Death herself, Botan. He is given a second chance to resolve things and get even by becoming a Spirit Detective. ON HOLD.
1. Prologue

**Full Story Summary**: Kazuma Kuwabara was the worst punk Sarayashiki Junior High at age 14. His only competition to becoming the king of street brawls was a loner, named Yusuke Urameshi, a loner with incredible skill in street fighting. A brawl between the two leads Kuwabara to the spirit fairy, Botan, or the Grim Reaper. Having died unjustly at Urameshi's hands, Kuwabara is offered a chance to regain his life through the various authorities of the Spirit World and its leader, Lord Koenma Junior.

**Shorter Summary**: Kuwabara, the worst punk of Sarayashiki, is beaten mercilessly into his afterlife by Yusuke Urameshi, and encounters the Grim Reaper, Botan. However, he is given a second chance to resolve things and get even by becoming a Spirit Detective.

"Sagas" are large sections, such as the Spirit Detective and Dark Tournament sagas, that cover a massive expanse of the storyline.

"Arcs" are medium sections that cover small, important events and fillers, like the Rescue Yukina story that encompassed a few episodes.

"Chapters" are small sections of the story that collectively tell the plot itself, you understand these obviously.

* * *

_**Spirit Detective Saga**__**  
**Deadly Ignorance Arc  
_

_Running in a crowd  
In a faceless town  
I need to feel the touch of a friend._

_  
In the countryside  
I wander far and wide  
The isolation gets me again..._

_I don't know where to go  
When I feel like crying  
Oh my!_

_It's time to open myself  
Do something new  
I want to stop...  
and grow up a bit!_

_Then suddenly, my power and confidence  
starts swelling up.  
Magically erupts  
And it's all because of kindness that I feel  
From people I don't even know!_

_Then suddenly, my intuition and my wisdom grow  
And then I know  
But most of all I sense compassions that's real  
Thanks to strangers where ever I go..._

_Thank you _

_for waking me _

_up!_

Prologue  
**Bad Day  
**

"Gah."

Kazuma Kuwabara, age 14. Waking up to the sky's dull, tasteless aroma passing through his gums freely without any restraint of physics. He turned, and screamed the air out of his lungs for a good minute as he realized that he was now floating meters above the ground, above a gathering of people plus a couple of paramedics. He wiped his mouth clean of the terror-doused drool dribbling down his chin, the cause of which was floating just as he was, only somehow farther in his way. Kuwabara's tired eyes fluttered at the sight of light pink garments, an animate oar, and a large crimson sash fastening the kimono's reversed position, worn by a blue-haired goddess who extended her hand to him.

Her touch was deathly strange, he understood that the moment his flesh touched her, but somehow, his first guesses began to vanish as his own vision reached back to her, thanking her for the help while subconsciously questioning her integrity. She seemed to giggle at this as she covered her mouth with her long, beautiful sleeve, her kimono shifted in synergy with her bountiful blue eyes. Kuwabara's face ignited...

"Bingo!" she chimed responsively, like she was reading his thoughts, and even the thoughts he hadn't thought of yet, "I'm glad to see you've grasped it so quickly, if only we met under more official circumstances Kuwabara!"

Her voice was enchanting, almost mystical as if her slender, clothed kimono was encasing him in a field of pink flowers. He tried to breath, but remembered that his body no longer needed the oxygen, it merely flowed through his brain, the idea of breathing, and gradually pushed itself out. He was too caught by this woman's beauty to concentrate on the fact that he was floating higher and higher, no longer needed to breath, and was feeling ever more light-headed.

"Umm...is there something wrong?" the woman, holding her hidden hands below her nose, asked him.

He dashed at her, making her hop in surprise as he gently clasped her wrists and held her softly, using little power to draw her closer to him and embrace her genuinely. He kept his eyes shut and envisioned her delicate, precarious form sitting sidesaddle on the floating oar, and welcomed her eyes into his when he opened them, ignoring the started tremor of her irises as he whispered warm words to her. She leaned away, letting him collapse only to float back up in the air, shivering and floating back to where she was, more than disturbed by his action.

"I'm sorry Kuwabara, I don't think that's in my job description, now um, please hold on for a second!"

"But I...wait a mi-" he studdered, the feeling of nausea and illusion began to overcome him, "Oh...my-m......AAAAA-HAAAAA!!!!"

He was screaming, but she gestured for him to stop as he began to fall, stopping and dropping with every individual scream. He came at a stop, only ten feet away from "landing" on the rooftop of a building, a house populated with three teenagers and an adult who were watching television. He gazed inside, levitating over their backyard, and watched as they were occupied with watching a sports commercial. The angel woman descended to his side, grabbing his arm and towing him upward above the house.

"Kuawabara, listen!" she ordered, finally irritated at the constant intervening.

He wanted to apologize for whatever he'd done to upset her, but could only manage a stupified expression.

"Am...am I dead?" he asked, in a very stellar tone. The oar-riding female nodded silently.

"Yusuke and you are rivals right? Well, unfortunately, you and your friends didn't emerge so lucky from that last brawl." she explained, succinct despite the clear eerie feeling of awe and rage the street gang leader was experiencing, "Yusuke sent you head-first into concrete, your consciousness managed to squirm its way into a pain-free zone, which is why you're up here with me right now. But you're skull didn't survive the hit, you're body was totally trashed and couldn't take the trauma, which must be why your ghost popped out of there so quickly."

She whipped out a tiny booklet out of her sleeve, casually opening and switching through each page. While she searched for the right chapter, Kuwabara gazed at the city he had once been so famous for, the overhead view gave him a lasting solace as he progressively replayed and accepted the fact: He was dead, corporally-challenged, living-inept. He didn't know what those words meant, of course, but they sounded fitting coming from his sister, Shizeru, who he recalled threatening him as a kid for messing with her room. Those threats always sounded so childish, his mother had always told him he would never die on her, even though the reverse had happened so shortly afterwards.

Tears ran down his cheek, but he brushed them against his uniform as the woman's voice called to him.

"Ah, there we are! Kazuma Kuwabara. Age 14. Sarayashiki Junior High, your case is quite common but rare in this city individually. You were brutally assaulted and killed by another human. Oh...I'm terribly sorry, Kuwabara." she read, face on the verge of breaking just as his was.

"Nah, its alright. We all have to die when our time comes, but if we go out doing what we love, we don't got regrets." the words seeped uneasily, in truth he was covered in regrets, doubts, and wishes. "That's me, I went out fighting....But I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET A PUNK LIKE URAMESHI KILL ME. GRR...DAMMIT....DAMN IT!!!! AAGGG....!!!!-grr...a.h.." he sobbed, throwing his arms down below his legs, punching invisible concrete.

"Kuwabara..." the woman whispered under her breath, slowing her descent as Kuwabara raised his arm.

"Say, forgive me...for not using my ...You already-" his voice cracked, "You already know MY name, what should I call you? Your too pretty to be that Grim Reaper guy."

"Ha ha." she chuckled, "I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. Botan's my name, pilot of the River Styx! When people die unexpectedly like you just did, often they can't accept it and become a ghost like you just did!"

"Err, wait. If I'm a ghost, does that mean no can see me and I can go an' haunt houses and stuff?" his voice said, enthused.

"Well, erm, yes, technically. But that's why I took this job. My job, like you said the "Grim Reaper", is to keep ghosts and apparitions from wreaking havoc in the living world. Ghosts are usually kind people like yourself, but there are evil spirits who try to spawn Chaos everywhere they go. I take the Departed to Spirit World, where their lives are evaluated and they are sent to a happy afterlife or a miserable, painful one. Kuwabara, the truth is, we weren't scheduled for you to die so so early, all of our intelligence cleared it that Yusuke would never have the power or will to actually KILL you, you were supposed to come out of this with a bad back and a week out of the gym. We don't have a place for you yet, that's why I have to keep you here in the Living World for a while."

"Gck-WAAHT!?" Kuwabara cried, throwing his arms in every direction except at her. Botan forged a grin as Kuwabara raced around, vulnerable more to his own emotions than the realization that he may never see his loved ones and best friends ever again. She still had yet to tell him the bad news on the living side of things...

"Kuwabara, come on, don't act like a baby. You were bound to be seriously harmed when you started street fighting, Yusuke probably bent your spine on more than one occasion. Its a miracle that you've survived thus far."

"A-NO WAY, BOTAN. I'M SORRY, BUT I...I CAN'T TAKE IT. IM GONNA GO POUND HIS STUPID FACE IN. THAT'LL SHOW HIM, AAH, JUST YOU WAIT URAMESHI!! IM FINALLY GONNA BEAT YOU, YOU'LL SEE. Oh wait a minute, NO YOU WON'T, HA!!"

Botan watched Kuwabara as he dominated the ability of flight and speeded down the uptown street, without a clue of where his long-time rival had even gone. She didn't bother call out to him, merely tracking his feint spirit energy as he combed the city, screaming obscenities and threats at the missing Urameshi. Six minutes of searching passed, and Kuwabara finally seemed to tire. That was when she reappeared, pulling on his shoulder as he looked into her concerned eyes once more.

"Kuwabara, I'm afraid I have bad news and good news for you." she exclaimed sadly.

"Ha....ha....ha...ha.....ha...what is it....Botan? I have to kick Urameshi's square butt halfway across the city! Grr...I KNEW it, hee's hiding from me! He's scared 'cause he knows he can't beat me now! YA CAN'T HIT WHAT YA CAN'T SEE URA-"

"KUWABARA." Botan yelled, smacking him in the back of the head. He turned to her finally, content on listening, "I'm trying to tell you this, but you're not making it easy. Yusuke may have driven you into the pavement a little too hard this time, but you're a GHOST now. You can't go running off like that and picking fights with him anymore, besides, with Yusuke's sudden power increase, you wouldn't stand a chance."

"It doesn't MATTER how much power he has, if you're quicker and invisable, then all that powersa' waste!" Kuwabara rebutted.

"Look, the point is, I may not have a permanent place for your spirit right now, but I can still take you to Spirit World. If you go there, there's a chance we can get your life back and you can train to beat Yusuke!"

He gazed at he sky, and then back at the ground. '_What does she mean "**Spirit World**"_?'

"Alright Botan, if I go to this Spirit place or whatevar, can I see my parents?"

"What?" she gasped, "You mean you don't want to come back to life?"

He nodded, "Fighting Urameshi and beating him was my one purpose in life, I thought beating him would make me invincable. But my life's over, even if I didn't die the way I wanted, I have to commit to other things in my afterlife. I lost my mom when I was only 9 years old, and my father went and left my sister and me at an orphanage until I was a teenager and Shizeru could afford to get us our own house. If the punk isn't dead yet and I have to wait a few more years to pound his face in, then so be it, but I can still my mom right?"

"I'm sorry, Kuwabara. Even if I could locate your mother on the etheral plane, spirits who have already received judgement from Lord Koenma and King Yamma must stay in their chosen realm unless given permission otherwise. The only other way to see her would be to unbalance the River Styz, which would simultaneously destroy the world as we know it, heh-heh....er..."

Botan sighed as Kuwabara's face lit up like a cherry, the devious, good-intended thoughts running through his mind were made true as he said, "Wait, so if I could beat his King guy and unbalance his operation, I could see her!"

"No Kuwabara-"

"Oh, don't worry Botan! If it's about fighting a King, all I have to do is land him one good fist where the sun doesn't shine! He-he, and then I'll throw him off a cloud and let him fall, an'-" He interrupted brashly, running off several violent ideas and running around in the air.

"NONE OF THOSE WILL WORK." Botan screamed impatiently, "Come on Kuwabara, you have to think this out. A person with your track record and morals has a below-average chance of getting into a Joukai 天国 world. But even if you do get accepted, it could take years to travel the entirety of Tentou with so much as a hint of her existance. If you complete our ordeal and get your life back, you'll have at least seventy years of good health to correct what few regrets you have and get even, and then have all the time in the universe to seek her out in the proper world."

Kuwabara wasn't listening. He was floating above a soda machine and was searching his pockets for quarters or a spare dollar, and began to panic when he discovered that all of his lunch money had vanished. He searched the area for anything he may have dropped while floating in the air, but soon resorted to yelling and punching the soda machine, each jab missed and made him scream as he passed harmlessly through the machine's metal exterior. He wailed and thrashed, helpless as Botan floated overhead, sighing.

"Darn it, howm' I gonna fight some big king and an' army if I don't have any energy, come on!"

"Alright Kuwabara, you can spend some time as a ghost at your wake. I'm going to do some investigating elsewhere and then return to Spirit World to report in, I'll be back to hear your final decision _later_." she exited, emphazing her "later" with a sweet-sounding voice as she flew off into the sky, leaping over a cloud and thinning into nothingness. Kuwabara ignored her, still throwing his fists back and forth on the unresponsive soda machine.

OOO

"Urameshi."

"Rrrr...." the mild-mannered 14-year growled, hands shoveling his pockets as he stomped down the uptown sidewalk. He kicked a discarded soda can into the road, scaring off a couple of skipping Sarayashiki students who recognized his menacing attitude easily. Two other men in dark blue senior uniforms jumped out from the separate crosswalk, another leaped out from the building he'd just passed. And right on cue, the leader of the street-fighting idiots himself appeared in the center of the street: Kazuma Kuwabara.

Kuwabara looked exactly the same way he did in almost all of thier confrontations. He wore a light blue, yellow-buttoned school uniform with the Sarayashiki school design pinned on his right shoulder, obviously something he didn't wear unless it was for a brawl. He considered himself the chief fighter of Sarayashiki and subconsciously probably would be if Yusuke hadn't been born. His friends would follow the same tactic: Let Kuwabara get beat, then surrender to his awesome power just to succumb to the fool's ambition the next day.

"You caught me...on a bad day...Kuwabara." Yusuke mumbled, his fists shook red.

Kuwabara gasped as Yusuke bolted at him, he reached a speed that had to be superhuman as he vanished from Kazuma's eyes, his left arm wailed the auburn-haired student in the chest and again in the knees. His friends were stunned and watched in horror as their leader was mercilessly beaten, in a manner far more violent and fierce then usual. Yusuke ended his assault by lifting Kuwabara over his shoulder with one hand, delivering another quick punch and smashing his jaw out of place, and then chucking him at the raised cement wall nearest him.

Kuwabara's skull dented the wall. Akubo screamed, racing off from Urameshi only to be caught by his nape. Yusuke vanished again, this time with Akubo, and returned without the victim teenager. His hair flared silver-white, brine with an almost unnatural fire of age running through his heightened locks. The other two took off in any direction, but Yusuke laughed and brought them to the hardest pits of the asphalt.

Blood stained his hands, the scent seemed to snap him from his blood-craving as his eyes calmed and he regained his prided grin as Kuwabara's foolish action in challenging him, this "battle" made one hundred and fifty-six wins and zero losses Yusuke. But it wasn't a moment to celebrate, no, because his eyes widened when he realized that two of Kuwabara's friends had disappeared entirely.

'_That Akubo guy would never leave Kuwabara in the lurch_...' Yusuke questioned mentally, looking around for any sight of them. People began to surround him, but he saw it as just another crowd wondering what had happened to the "poor boy on the pavement".

"W-wh...what the h-hell!?" Yusuke shrieked, spotting one of the gang members stretched out over a telephone box. His head had been impaled and wound up with the payphone's own cord, the rest of his body was strung up in the entanglement and slumped underneath it, trapped. His expression was made even more meaningless, however, as he saw Kuawabara's sprawled form smashed against the sidewalk, the blood in his cheeks exploded along with several other teeth.

"Oh my god...did I hit him too hard or something?" he whispered, staring blankly at Kuwabara and the people surrounding him. Cellphones flipped out instantly and children were pushed back as people finally absorbed their inner common senses to instinctively call the police. Screams furthered when a brave first-responder turned him over, checking his breaths and revealing two huge claw marks that had eviscerated him.

".grgr......URA...MESHI..." the words gradually proccessed their way out of his disarranged teeth.

Unsure of what to do, but nonetheless aware that the police would question somebody with red-painted skin, Yusuke sprinted away from the bloody scene, catapulting over a brick wall and past the next chain of store buildings. He was successful in dodging the police, the sirens carelessly waltzing past him as they hurried to the crime scene. Within an hour of his departure, news of the incident scattered over the city, with an interesting report on two middle-school boys found dead and skinned in an apartment complex not less than a mile from the scene of the incident.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One  
**Understanding  
**

"_Brother._"

A bunch of mourners had gathered, quite astonishing for the kind of street punk that her brother was. Students from Sarayashiki, the parents of Okubo and Akio, Jiro's folks were too distressed to so much as step aside. A blue-dressed spirit floated aimlessly above, eyes bulging when he witnessed the number of fellow classmates and even rival gang members that had shown up. Most were laughing within the smaller, weaker groups he had beaten like the Kazuhana gang and Kokusai Junior High. But there was an equal number of departing, often weeping students from classes he'd never imagined even stepping foot in.

The first omen was that of Mr. Takanaka, the principal of Sarayashiki. He arrived with two other teachers, two very rotten men who's names made him spit every time thought of them. He had watched Mr. Takanaka cry before his grave, in his former home, and spread kind and sincere words about a delinquent street fighter with an "honor code", the kind of student who gave the school an even lesser profit rating when it cam to enrollment and graduation due to a continuous stream of failing grades and violent discrepancies with other students. The Principal, too, even shed a tear for Kuwabara's strange absence today, having called for him shortly after Yusuke's swift disappearance.

The second omen was his sister, Shizeru Kuwabara. On the outside, it may have seemed more obvious that a family member would come to tears to him, but the Kuwabara family was no ordinary household to begin with. He had to note though, to see his sister still in her pajamas without a cigarette to be found or smelled hour after hour, as noted by their guests apparent ignorance of the house's nicotine reak, he found himself tingling with awe just to wait and see the night's stilling hours come. Even as his patience rekindled, twice the number of mourners populated their house each time, not to include his "missing" relatives that dropped off servants and phone calls to say their goodbyes.

And then there was the third, the one that appeared long after even his sister had left the altar. A green-shirted, hair ruffled, brown eyed fellow creeping on the outskirts of the city. It was obvious he was on the run judging from his ragged, dishelved clothing, tears and cuts peppering it and even a small splash of blood smothering his left leg. He was running from the cops after his brutal massacre, he didn't seem to possess the slightest bit

"Grrr....Urameshi..." Kazuma considered striking Yusuke while he was vaulting over a fence, but the boy's luck had risen once again. Kuwabara had been far beyond the state of beating up a hapless rival after all he'd secretly witnessed that night. As promised, as Dusk powdered over the horizon, the pink-robed reaper returned to him, one hand grappled onto her magical floating oar and the other hidden inside her sleeve.

"Well..have you decided?" she asked.

"Botan, whatever happened to my pals?"

"I'm not permitted to grant that kind of information to an Unreveled Spirit, Kuwabara."

"Unraveled what?"

"Uh, nothing. Kuwabara, I'm afraid I can't wait for an answer any longer. Do you want your life or don't you? Because if not, then I have to take you to Spirit World where they can set you up in your own resting place." her voice was grave, sad enough that even Kazuma picked up on the seriousness of this question, and how the choice he made would reflect upon the rest of his life, err....afterlife.

While he was quiet for at least half a minute, he was clearly resolved in a deep thought. He crossed his arms, floated upside-down for a moment before freaking out and floating right side again, and turned to face Botan, pointer finger raised questioningly.

"Botan, if I go through this test you' menchined, what happens to me afterwards? Cause I kind of like being able to SEE the ghosts around me, instead of just getting the tickle feeling every time they pass me or breath next to me. I mean, whateveit is you guys do insteada' breathing, I mean-" he rubbed the back of his head looking for a correction.

"Don't worry Kuwabara, you'll be in tip-top shape in your own body. Come on, let's not waste any time! Ha-ha, off to Spirit World" Botan snatched his wrist and pulled him into the sky, face bright with joy over his decision.

"Hey w-wait, I'I never-r said Y-yes!" he cried, still very unused to such high-speed flight. She carried him behind a bunch of clouds, into what his teachers might have dubbed the Earth's mesosphere, until they disappeared in a flurry of white cloud. Kuwabara's manic pleas for her to slow down and release him fell on her ears.

"HEY! WHAT'S SPIRIT WORLD!?"

OOO_  
**And that's the way it is, after his first day of being dead, Kuwabara has agreed to undergo a mysterious ordeal that COULD win him back his life. But what adventures await him in...the Spirit World?**_

OOO

_The pointed second hand cuts down the life I lead  
Mocking off my legacy of worldly deeds._

_Tick, tock, tick._

_Constantly I think of things I can't complete.  
Well, its time to throw them into the back seat._

_Son of a GUUUUUN!_

_Life's a fleeting dream, don't let it go..._

_You gotta' make the most of it you knooow.  
Don't stop now, don't let it slip away.  
Live it up while you can and don't delay._

_Bored of fleeting dreams...they never staaaaay...

* * *

  
_


	3. Chapter Two

_Running in a crowd  
In a faceless town  
I need to feel the touch of a friend._

_  
In the countryside  
I wander far and wide  
The isolation gets me again..._

_I don't know where to go  
When I feel like crying  
Oh my!_

_It's time to open myself  
Do something new  
I want to stop...  
and grow up a bit!_

_Then suddenly, my power and confidence  
starts swelling up.  
Magically erupts  
And it's all because of kindness that I feel  
From people I don't even know!_

_Then suddenly, my intuition and my wisdom grow  
And then I know  
But most of all I sense compassions that's real  
Thanks to strangers where ever I go..._

_Thank you _

_for waking me _

_up!_

Chapter Two  
**The Ruler's Proposal  
**

"Alright...Botan...where are we?"

The moon was covered with clouds suddenly, it melted into a pink, fluid color and slowly the horizon met its pigment with the same hot pink. They were flying through mountains now, Kuwabara screamed as the clouds descended farther and farther until the clouds vanished completely, Botan told him to not freak out lest he accidentally let go of the oar and plummet into limbo for all eternity. Naturally, he could only think of how long eternity would be, all the way to their destination.

"Yes, the gateway of decision." she said, "Kuwabara, we're about to meet with King Enma. Be on your best behavior."

"Gk...King!?"

"Yes, so we'd best not dilly-dally." they landed on a small ledge, Botan unmounted the oar, which abruptly stiffened, allowing Kuwabara to crash onto the cliffend and hurridedly scramble up, panting madly.

He gazed upward toward a giant gate with a single gray line running down it in blocks. Botan pressed a button on the panel on the left door, talking to an unknown assistant with a grungy voice who promised to open the gate. When it opened, Kuwabara stared in amazement, the entire entrance was at least fifty times bigger than the both of him, it looked like one of those "intestines" he had learned about in biology class, only so big that a human...ex-human could fit inside of it.

"Bota..n...are you sa...sure this is safe!?" he studdered, prodded onward by Botan who ignored the ignorant statement.

A minute passed and they were still inside of the humongous palace, Kuwabara figured he'd be out of breath but once again being dead came back to remind him that he could have simply "floated" his way through the hallway. He jumped in the air and landed back on his feet, trying it again and again with different forward hops before he collided with Botan. She almost tripped, glaring back at him.

"For goodness sake! What are you doing!?" Botan asked, frustrated with his stupidity. Kuwabara smiled uneasily.

"Say, why can't I fly anymore?" he replied, in between more jumps.

The doors to the main building creaked, Botan faced him and answered, "If we let anyone fly in here, we'd be overrun with traffic and lallygaggers, and potentially thieves as well. Now come inside, and watch your feet. Our staff isn't responsible for your clumsiness."

"As a matter of fa-" Kuwabara's eyes followed the doors sliding back into the palace.

Two giant shadows danced before him, their clawed arms reached for him as he screamed but they swung back as if they were playing with his fear and drawing out his paranoia of the supernatural. As they moved farther away, and the lights dimmed to a level his eyes could properly read, he noticed that these two figures were not human, and had horns on their heads. And they hadn't been reaching for him to pull him into some dark, scary abyss, no, they were lunging towards each other, fists raised and arms pulled back. The second creature on the left had two horns and crimson skin, while the right one was blue and had a beige beard.

"I NEEDS' INFORMATION ON MR. GANNON IN TWO MINUTES!!!"

"MR. HICKS ISA' HEAD OF SCHEDULE!!!!"

The two ogres clashed and went beside each other, punching the air and then sprinting away as more of the ogre-like monsters followed them, many had stacks to foothills of blank papers in their arms, everyone was yelling at each other to hurry up. To be honest, it was just like Sarayashiki during lunch time, a fist fight was inevitable. He only wanted to get away from these guys, most were obese and just had a great amount of body fat supporting their tough, outward appearances. However, there were those like the first one he'd seen, who were extremely muscular, almost to the point that a boulder probably couldn't have killed them.

"Woah...never thought that monsters lived in big castles like these."

"Silly, they're not monsters. There the Spirit World's primary workforce, there called Ogres." Botan explained, guiding Kuwabara through the messy office, down a trial of stairs, and through a pink, gold-dressed door labeled 'JUNIOR'.

"Sir, I've brought you the boy you requested to see." she said formerly, supposedly to thin air.

Kuwabara glanced around her shoulder, around the desk in the back of the small room, and just about every place he could see. There was no other person there except for Botan, who seemed oblivious to the fact that she was addressing thin air.

He finally asked, "Where is he!?"

"Down here." an additional voice shocked him.

He whipped around, expecting to see one of the "ogres" running in to check on their boss. But the voice was too child-sounding, almost babyish, at worst a newborn child. A newborn child..ogre, tha could TALK!? But that was impossible. Then again, so was a world where ghosts and spirits roam around and file documents all day. And so was Botan, technically, wasn't the Grim Reaper supposed to be "dead"? She was the most healthy, young, and quite frankly, beautiful woman he had ever had the fortunate of accompanying. He refocused on where the voice had come from, as something small and blue neared the bottom of his eyes. He winced downwards and saw a large, vase-shaped hat at his knee.

"Yo." the humanoid creature greeted.

"This is Kazuma Kuwabara and he's honored to meet you." Botan bowed.

Rather than give his usual surprised gesture and try to defend himself, Kuwabara's expression went from one of shock, to manic snickering, to laughter, and finally to uncontrollable laughter. He fell onto his back, pointing and kicking at the toddler standing in front of him.

"Grrr, what ARE YOU doing!? Stop laughing!!!" Botan commanded. Kuwabara didn't listen.

"You've got to kiddin'me! You mean you take orders from a two-year old! Ha-ha, and I was scared of the boss guy! Hahahahahahaha!"

"SO IMMATURE."

Koenma's brow furrowed, "Boss Guy? I'm afraid you're mistaken, but let's not dwell on this and move onto the matter at hand. Kazuma Kuwabara, you have been judged by Spirit World's topmost judges and your potential for sensing the supernatural as well as your...erm.. relation, to one of our most wanted criminals have been evaluated. You're a useful subject you see, and we're willing to grant you your life back if you simply agree to help us with a few ongoing tasks. To begin the process, you must complete a difficult ordeal, in the form of THIS egg."

The child ruler extended his hand, rolling on his palm was a smooth, golden egg, "Your ordeal: A Spirit Egg. Beware Kuwabara, for this is not your typical egg. Don't even THINK about eating, cooking, dropping, throwing, or smashing this, if you EVER want to return to the living world. The true test is not solely to keep this egg safe from harm and hatch it, but the inner workings of your own character. Inside of this egg is an animal we here call a Spirit Beast, it feeds off of your own spirit energy and everything you do and feel. If you per say perform good deeds and your soul is righteous and honorable, then so will be the beast inside, and it will guide your soul back to your body. However, if you are cold, cruel, and sadistic then the beast will become a negative side of you, becoming a nightmarish creature that will swallow you, and no force Icould possibly summon could do anything to change it. Take care of it Kazuma."

When the egg first touched his hand, Kuwabara felt an instant hotness washing his hand recklessly. He almost dropped it, to the Grim Reaper and Spirit World Ruler's great aggravation, but eased his grip around it as the warmth became placidly cold, almost familiar. He didn't want to think about the last time his hand had ever felt so cold...

OOO

A week passed and most of Kuwabara's adventures as a ghost had been...well, unnatural.

On Monday, the very day he died and met the son of the Ruler of the Spirit World, Koenma Jr., Botan had reminded him at the last minute that his sister and relatives would obviously plan a funeral service for him, where his body would inevitably be cremated. Here, Botan taught him one of the perks of being a ghost beyond physical infinities, but the ability to converse with living people and their minds while they were asleep. He, in a rare moment, used this wisely and got the message through that his body should not be cremated. It was a matter of time to find out whether or not the rest of their extended family would accept this proposal as well, but if his sister was anything but annoying, she was smart.

Even if she had been drunk out of her own sardonic wit in her dream.

Tuesday brought even more surprises, as Kuwabara struggled to grasp with the realization that he could no longer drink soda or beat up rival street gangs or blow off school and hit the town with his best friends.

To top that, he had discovered from eavesdropping on his house's next door neighbor's televisions that Urameshi, a lowly urchin who had done nothing wrong except murder Kazuma, his best friends, and if the reports were accurate and not just precise, a dozen other kids from other schools, was recently incarcerated. It was like he'd had some sort of demonic goal behind him, Kuwabara rubbed his chin as he recalled the strength and relentlessness of Yusuke's punches, they were more ferocious and powerful than what he believed a human was capable of. And yet he seemed exactly the same, for all of the four seconds he could see him. '_How did he move so fast?_'

Wednesday was average except for two dogs he'd caught in the act behind a neighbor's cherished mulberry tree, which they planned to mail away to their family in Tokyo. (Though no one would ever know, the eldest Higurashi would have simply tossed the tree to the bottom of the Higurashi Family's ancestral well, out of fear it would attract dangerous spirits or demons.)

Thursday showed the funerals for his friends Komada and Okubo. Kirishima's had been postponed due to the requests of parents, but it didn't take long for a curious, completely-invisible, inaudible by mortal ears, fourteen-year old Junior High student to properly investigate and discover that Komada and Kirishima's bodies had truly never been found. He watched with a sulk as Okubo's funeral was the only one with a body to bury, even though he had never gotten to say goodbye himself. He asked Botan again and again if he could ever see their ghosts the same way he could see her and "ogres", but he received the same, somber response every time.

And then they came to Friday. Kuwabara was smashing his fists through solid concrete, laughing as he felt no pain or abstraction charge up his his arms. He toyed with things, flinging himself into the sky and then forcefully rocketing down, plopping on top of spikes, poles, or traffic cones and waiting for the usual feeling someone would have gotten being like a bull goring a matador. The first three days made him desire physical contact, but he worked through that emptiness by simply messing around in the dreams of others. Again and again, as it came to him in the dream of eight-year old Judai Yuki, who seemed to be dreaming of some strange card game where the cards became actual living, breathing creatures that he and another controlled, that had couldn't feed any "negative karma" into the Spirit Beast Egg he carried.

At first, the plan for tonight was to make the kid, who had cheated him out of his lunch money not too long ago in Janken, to transform his dream into a bunch of girls chasing him around trying to smooch him. Despite being the intermediate nightmare of almost all schoolboys, Judai actually seemed to mellow. Then Kuwabara tried to make him eat vegetables, but the kid simply poured butter and cheese over it and happily consumed it all. The last measure was to introduce him to the boogeyman, but the reminder from Botan clicked and he settled upon challenging Judai to his favorite card game.

"And that's game!" Judai laughed.

Kuwabara stared blankly for a moment, then stood and clutched his temples frustratingly. He screamed and yelled and jigged in front of the boy, baffled at how he could have been overwhelmed so quickly by a kid. A white light enveloped him, and before he knew what was going on, he was floating inches above the boy's bunk bed. Judai got up from the covers, rubbing his eyes as he left his room and zipped into the bathroom.

"Kuwabara? Kuwabara, up here." Botan called, waving towards him, "I've got news from Koenma."

He dashed upward, finally comfortable with the sensuality of self-sustained flight, "Hey Botan, where ya' been?"

"No time to chat. Koenma told me your Spirit Beast would hatch soon, and I could feel it's energy vibrating from the Gates. I hope you understand how important this is, these kind of situations are rare for a human spirit."

"Wait, what do you mean? Humans don't ever get revived?"

Botan grimaced, "Well, no, most humans don't have the same spirit awareness as you and those that do are to evil to be revived."

"Gah!" Kuwabara gasped, his entire leg throbbed and he scooped the egg from his pocket. It was beating, loudly and strongly, and sounded off with a lively, goldish-orange color. He switched hands and learned the same feeling back and forth, sighing as he turned and looked in the direction of his house. The two flew off into the moonlight, hovering above his household's roof. He grinned nervously.

"I'm coming home, sis. Just a little' bit longer."

"Actually, we need to do this post-haste." came a familiar voice.

Kuwabara spun around, the casually-royal dress toddler was floating behind him, the same baby blue pacifier chewed between his teeth. Botan bowed to him again, but Kuwabara made an angry gesture only for Botan to pull him back and cover his mouth. She translated his muffled cries, "Er-hrm, uh, Koenma sir, Kuwabara was just saying his Spirit Beast was kicking you see. Wait, post-haste?"

"Yes, grab my hand and close your eyes Kazuma, we've got less than a day to get this done or you'll be in for quite a wait." Koenma snatched Kuwabara from Botan's arms and took off at incredible speeds. Kuwabara's screams of terror echoed across the intangible air, Botan easily trailing behind them in his vision until Koenma stopped at his house, gently lowering the bewildered student into his own darkened bedroom.

Shizuru was asleep at his window, her own mattress fashioned into a miniature bed for herself under the window seal.

"How tranquil. Now Kazuma, I'll keep this simply. I'm preparing your body to unite with your own soul which requires the fusion of both your own Life Energy, which comes from your body, and your Spirit Energy, gathered in th egg. When these two are properly mixed, your soul will join and you'll be alive again. The only other problem is that we need someone in the Living World who cares about you to supply the Life Energy your body lost when you became a ghost so that it can be channeled with your soul. As I said before, you have 10 hours before the energy wavelength is perfectly aligned, or else..."

Kazuma looked at himself in his bed, then at Koenma, "Or else...?", he gulped.

"You'll have to wait another year before we can attempt this again, and the process will become twice a s difficult because your Spirit Beast is likely to have died by that period, as your own Spirit Energy has been channeled and collected in your body. Most likely, if Shizuru does keep her hopes up, she'll be charged as a necrophiliac and be forced by family or state officials to surrender your body to a morgue."

OOO

"Its been a pleasure talking with you Kuwabara, I wish you a prosperously long life!" Botan wished him farewell. Of course, the Grim Reaper was needed in many places and she couldn't stay to see him back in his own body. He had already signed Koenma's contract that officially labeled him as Spirit World's privately-owned "Spirit Detective", a private investigator who dealt with matters too grave to be left in human hands, such as the arrival or threat of great and merciless demon creatures. It was a hard pill to swallow, he had conjured up monsters TWICE the size of Koenma's own workers. Would he REALLY be going up against such beasts?

"Umm...Kuwabara, you can jump into your body anytime now. The Life Energy's had over six minutes to gestate-"

"GWAH, oops, I'm going! See ya!" Kuwabara sped downward, flying right through the ceiling and entering his glowing, yellow room.

"URH...that boy. Could he be any more oblivious? Still, I'm so happy things went so smoothly. I guess this is the start of something brand new. I'm so excited!" said Botan, twirling on her oar in a semi-circle. Koenma nodded substantially, offering little comment as the light in Kuwabara's room died.

OOO

"Alright listen, I'm having a bad day. So either get out of my bed, or I send your head through the freakin' wall." the young, black-haired juvenile delinquent threatened, his orange prison uniform bent unnaturally around his muscular form, which complimented the strict, emotionless demeanor he'd carried since his first night in the prison.

"Heh heh heh...big TALK from such a puny kid." the inmate, Jason, laughed. He was 8"2, and clutched the boy's head playfully, scratching his hair before a strong, diamond hand grasped his wrist. A sharp pain rang through him to the point that he bent down and sobbed, blood running down his temples as he begged for mercy and kissed the floor.

The guards scrambled from every corner of the prison as a bullish noise erupted throughout the prison, a gaping new hole decorated the western end of the Closed Conan Penitentiary, with one man gazing outside with his hands at his sides. A red star winked inthe sky, he turned to meet the guards about to attack him, and watched as they all collapsed via a startling shock. Then he ran forward, leaping out from the hole and plummeting into a three mile drop down an assortment of cliffs, rocks, and slate-shaped hills.

The night shuddered at the dark presence escalating its own symmetry.


End file.
